Queen of the Twist

2003-04-23T16:39:00.000-07:00

best thing someone said to me today: "I'd slit your throat from ear to ear".

best lyric of all time: "know that you shall die like whores" -- cradle of filth.

best compliment you can give me "white trash".

best eye make-up remover on the market: l'oreal refreshing eye makeup remover.

without serendipity in my life.

2003-04-03T08:57:00.000-08:00

sometimes, the only thing that makes my existence any better is the hope that maybe, someone else is more miserable than i am.

2003-03-28T07:25:00.000-08:00

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sigh.

2003-03-26T11:01:00.000-08:00

are they selling anti-radiation pills where you live?

WoHop, on Mott street, is the best Chinese food in New York City. Actually, that's not true at all. But it IS a 24-hour Chinese food restaurant with headshots of NY no-name actrors all over its walls, which makes it OK in my book. And in Vic Christopher's book, apparently. He's created a short film about the restaurant in which he interviews employees struggling with English, invades the kitchen, harasses customers, and convinces one girl to flash the entire establishment, and then kiss another girl. Now THAT's entertainment.

2003-02-24T13:16:00.000-08:00

Work-isms have gotten totally out of control. Between having a full plate, thinking outside the box, seeing what's coming down the pike, and touching base, people don't even say things that make sense anymore. Like mixed metaphors, but much, much more annoying. I just walked by two people talking in a cubicle and overheard:

"This may be bigger than the breadbox I initially thought we were looking at."

2003-02-06T14:48:00.000-08:00

today at work, someone came in and all of a sudden all the women in my department were shrieking with glee and running over to him. i got excited too, thinking that there must be a baby in the office.

it was a fucking puppy.

2003-02-06T09:44:00.000-08:00

i was born in a burial gown.

2003-02-05T12:22:00.000-08:00

Today, I walked to Whole Foods market, where I normally grab my incredibly boring organic, pussy lunch. There was a group of picketers outside, wearing sandwich boards that said, “Do not shop at Whole Foods.”

A couple of feet away stood a second group of picketers. They were wearing sandwich boards that said, “These picketers are not employees of Whole Foods”.

A few feet away from them, there was a third group of picketers, picketing the second group of picketers. They were wearing sandwich boards that said, “These people are being forced to stand here by Whole Foods.”

2003-02-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

so my (hopefully) future co-op board is forcing me to get 2 business references and 2 personal references to prove that i am not a scumbag. i don't even HAVE 2 friends. i have people i see at shows, and 2 actual friends, one of whom i'm already married to. my other friends live out of state, which i think makes me look even more shady, like "i've alienated everyone in new york state, so here -- speak to my friend on the opposite coast."

what the hell are you supposed to write in a personal reference, anyway? "queenie is a blast to drink with -- don't order shots, though, 'cause she can't hold her liquor!" "queenie has a great rack, which is why i speak to her in the first place. just waiting for her marriage to fail under the guise of 'friendship'. keep your fingers crossed!"

2003-01-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

I'm wearing this knit hat I bought yesterday. It's black with a knit red flower on the side of it. I thought it looked kinda flapper-y, and cute. But the more I look at it today, the more it looks like an exit wound.

2003-01-23T14:38:00.000-08:00

I was recently on probation at my job. They told me that I had to come in on time every day for 30 days or I would be terminated. When the 30 days were up, they called me into a meeting with my boss, HER boss, and an HR person. They said that since I had done such a good job of coming in on time every day, and my work was so great, they wanted to extend my probation for another 30 days. You know, so I wouldn't fall back into any "bad habits".

Pollock logic.